The Bachelor Brief: our recap of The Bachelor Canada, episode two
By Brianne Hogan
Who will stay and who will go?
So — nine bachelorettes down, sixteen to go in the second episode of The Bachelor Canada. And just like its American counterpart, this installment involved globe-trotting dates that teetered between the ridiculous and the romantic. Oh, and we now know Bachelor Brad Smith’s favourite word is “cute.”
The night kicked off with Brad — all James Dean-like in a tight white tee and groovy shades — announcing that the first group date of the season would bring them to New Orleans, where, as Brad warned, the ladies would be doing something out of their comfort zone. Fittingly, the task at hand in The Big Easy was a burlesque boot camp. Chantelle the pastor freaked out (she announced later she’s still a virgin), Playboy playmate Melissa Marie was all like, “I got this” (she didn’t) and Britany the nurse ended up stealing the show (even though it was “cute” Chantelle who ended up getting the date rose).
We’re not sure if The Bachelor franchise has some partnership with Formula 1 racing (or just likes the idea of women dressed in leather jumpsuits — probably the latter), but group date number two occurred at yet another race track in Las Vegas. This time around, Sophie, Kara, Gabrielle and Whitney were asked to put the pedal to the metal in order to win a special date with Brad. Sophie pulled a mean Danica Patrick, but it was squinty Whitney — who said last week she “never loses” — who ended up the winner.
The one-on-one date was with the very unmemorable Laura B. in Victoria, B.C. First, Brad gifted her with a dress that looked like something from Sirens, but paired it with some fancy jewels to jazz it up (they also shared a corny Pretty Woman moment). They had some “too much too soon” dinner conversation for a first date (like wanting kids and being inspired by their parents — yawn), then they danced the night away to “Canadian chanteuse” Jill Barber. Brad called Laura “an amazing girl, totally unique,” but we’re still meh about her.
The cocktail party before the rose ceremony brought out the same alcohol-fueled dating demons that Bachelor fans are used to witnessing: cat fights, breakdowns, and the ol’ manipulative make-out (that was with Whitney, of course).
The rose ceremony itself was pretty predictable since most of the girls who never had a date with Brad were sent packing (it’s counter-intuitive, really, but that’s how the Bachelor works: outta sight, outta mind).
Here are our Good, Bad and Ugly picks of the night:
Brad’s surprise morning date with Ana in Tofino, B.C. It was off-the-cuff (just like giving her a sixteenth rose was last week) and it was sweet (though we’re not sure how pleased we’d be if some dude we just met woke us up at the crack of dawn without our game face on).
The girls didn’t know where, or what, The Big Easy is. Bianka guessed Hawaii and Chantelle thought it was New York. But, hey, we’re pretty sure Brad’s dream girl isn’t a cartographer.
The shameless product placement. Though we’re all for promoting Canadiana (especially since the first group dates didn’t even take place in our home and native land), close-ups on the Molson Canadians that Brad and Ana were sipping, and the huge Hudson's Bay blanket on which they sat, were a little too much. As was the group shower scene when all the girls shaved their legs together (because that’s what girls do, obvs) with their new Gillette razors. But we get it: that soapy scene was all about ratings.
Melissa Marie. Fretting about her kid 24/7 was annoying (have these bachelorettes learned nothing from Kalon?) and grilling Brad about dating a single mom was more than a little intense and super awkward. It’s not a surprise she didn’t get a rose (but we wish her tons of love!)
Whitney’s brows. We totally suspect with each passing week, they’ll become more and more furrowed, which, we have to point out, will only cause wrinkles. Girl’s gotta chill (but we know she won’t. It’s a little thing called ratings).
The Bachelor Canada airs on CityTV Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m.